Imitation Is The Sincerest Form of Flattery
(oh, relax, I'm only busting on them)
You might be Taliban if:
Your home doesn't have drapes, but your camel does.
You can't have sex with your first wife until she turns 13.
You have at least four brothers named Mohammed.
You refine heroin for a living, but have a "moral objection" to beer.
You own a $500 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
You believe masturbation is evil but beating your wife is OK.
Your mother would be happier if you blew up into a million pieces.
You have more wives than teeth.
You think vests come in two styles, bullet proof and suicide.
You'll kill anyone that says you’re not peaceful.
You wear eyeliner but you have been acquitted at least once for murdering your wife, sister, or daughter because they wore makeup.
You can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against.
You consider television and video games dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your underwear.
You consider US soldiers uncivilized for dropping the Quran but you have no problem throwing acid in your wife's face if she asks for a divorce.You are amazed to discover that cellphones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
You’ve ever uttered the phrase "I love what you’ve done with this cave".
Your lifetime goal is to die.
You’ve ever had a crush on your neighbor’s goat.
You wipe your ass with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.